okay, this is serious

Every once in a while, an issue of such gravity arises that I must take a public stand.

Now is one of those times. So I'm going to hone in on this serious matter with laser-like focus.

And there you see the issue. Did you notice that I used the word "laser" in that last sentence? Well, if you didn't, go back and look now. I'll wait.

Does something not strike you as odd about this word "laser?" This word which is used to communicate so many important ideas? Sound it out: "lay-zur." The centerpiece of this fine word is the crisp, humming "z" sound in the middle. Without this, the word would be nothing.

Why then, do we spell laser with an "s?" I plead with you - why? If ever a word in the English language needed to be officially re-spelled, this is it. "Laser" needs to be spelled with a "z."

I would not be on this moral crusade if "laser" were not such a important word. But it is one of the most vibrant, fecund, truly potent words that we posses. Think about it, have you ever used the word "laser" in a casual way? No. The answer is, no. You haven't. When you use the word "laser" it is because you have chosen to really say something. Something of substance. Something that should be written down and remembered by all who hear it.

"I'm going to fry your eyes out with a laser."

"Watch out, he's got a laser gun!"

"Would you like to go to the laser show with me tonight? It's going to be set to Def Leppard."

I'm sure you see what I mean by now. "Laser" works beautifully when spoken out loud, but loses its soul when written. It's time to change this.

So what do I intend to do about it? The only thing I can do: I'm going to start spelling this word the way it was meant to be spelled.

Lazer.

There. Let the revolution begin.