of poo and clever schemes

This is a story about poo. But it's also a story about the fascinating if somewhat bizarre cleverness of little boys.

For the last couple of weeks, our little two-year-old, o, has started showing interest in using the potty. Hurray! So we got out the little plastic kid potty and set it up in the boy's bathroom for him.

It works like this: anytime o will sit on the potty and try to make something happen, he gets a little bit of candy. So far, trying is all he's done. But on that very special day when he stands up and there is actually something inside said potty, there will be a massive celebration. There will not be a little bit of candy involved - there will be a lot of candy involved. And so joyous will the moment be that our four-year-old, j, will be included in the dispensation of candy.

Needless to say, j has done some thinking on this. He would really like the potty celebration to happen as soon as possible.

So the other night I am reading on the couch when I hear little j get out of bed, walk into the bathroom, flush the toilet, wash his hands (good boy), and go back to bed.

Perhaps an hour later, I walk into the bathroom and notice something rather odd. There is poo in the little plastic kid potty. I can't believe my eyes.

I go into j's room and find him sitting up in his bed with his hands folded in his lap, almost as if he's been expecting me.

"J," I begin, "there is poo in the little kid potty. Is that your poo?"

"Yes dad."

"Why exactly did you go poo in the little potty when you are supposed to use the big-person potty?"

"Because I wanted you to think that o did it."

He just came right out and said it. It was a bold plan. It failed. And he knew it. So at least he fessed up right away. Here's the part I can't get over - he was smart enough to flush the big toilet, thus adding to the illusion that he was just following the routine as usual. Unbelievable.

While I had to give j a mild lecture on honesty, I could do nothing but shake my head and smile as I shut the door to his room. I have the feeling this will be only the first if many clever little schemes. I just hope it is the last that involves poo.